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Quick Tips.Just a few tips and tricks to make your stay at Suck enjoyable as possible. Download this page to your hard drive to keep as a handy reference. My treat!Tip #1. When reading Suck, always keep a copy of Webster's dictionary handy. The lads and ladies at Suck have a firm grasp of the English language and enjoy using somewhat obscure (and often large) words. If you run across a word with which you are not familiar, crack open the dictionary and educate yourself. Tip #2. You must know the meaning of the word "Luddite." It refers to one who is distrustful of technology. The word was derived from the surname of Ned Ludd, an early 19th century Englishman who originated the idea of smashing machinery due to its detrimental effect on employment. This word has appeared in more than one issue of Suck, often prefixed by "neo-." This tip also works for Wired magazine. Tip #3. Don't read Suck backwards or upside-down. It doesn't make any sense. "LRU fo ekuD eht fo ysetruoc." See what I mean? Tip #4. Visit the fish link. Contained within, you will find an address to send away for your very own Suck sticker. Cool. Use this tip with discretion, I've not tried it out yet. Tip #5. Use Suck with caution. It corrupts your brain and changes the way you look at the web. After a while, you too will start hammering criticism upon every site on the web, including your own. Don't say I didn't warn you. Tip #6. Special Web Über-surfer Tip. If you click on one of the many colored words you encounter while reading Suck, it will link you to another page somewhere on the web. Pretty cool, huh? I aM eLiTe. Tip #7. The best time to catch the new edition of Suck is the middle of the afternoon or later. It is rarely up before 2 pm. Tip #8. When viewing Suck with a high resolution monitor, it looks best if you decrease the width of your browser window slightly so the text is centered in line with the title. If the browser window is too wide, the text is off to the left of center, which really bugs the hell out of me. I know it shouldn't, but it does. This problem could be alleviated by using a third table column equal in width to the first column to balance everything out. If you'll go back to Sock and try different browser window widths, you'll see that this solution works nicely. Tip #9. A Suck boner? How many of you noticed that the smoking gun isn't really smoking at all? Freaky, huh? Graphics of recently fired weapons must be hard to come by. |